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strait-jacket feeling. [Thursday, October 6th, 2005]
[ mood | complacent ]

so i now realize i have about, 3 real friends. one of them being my boyfriend. all of my friends are changing, and i seem to be staying back in the crowd, staying the same. i feel the same. everyone says im the same. i like being the same. i hate the way people have changed. from my point of view, everyone is changing in the wrong ways, and for the wrong reasons. maybe im just completely blind. i have so many "friends". people who i like, but wouldnt want to hang out with. and at social events, or in big groups of people that i "like", i get really nervous, and seclude myself. i would rather be with my tight little crew, that surrounded by many. i guess i am changing. my anxiety is getting better. im taking pills for it. the good part about it is that ive acquired a 4.0 GPA (i hope) from these bad obsessions. im proud of myself, but i could have done better. im reading a book that alexs mom gave me, and it seems to be helping.
lately, ive been being called "weird". i think its funny. but ive started wondering "maybe im completely normal, and the world is going insane." because like i said, everyone on is changing, and i still feel the same. i think thats a song lyric.

but as much as i bitch, i still appreciate life.


yesm. [Monday, September 12th, 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

so i definitely havent been on here for forever. im only here because myspace is being a bitch. lame.
but school is... school. nothing too special. yes, im still with alex. i love him.
im worried about one of my friends, though. and maybe even a little bit annoyed. shes getting into drugs, and brags about it all the time. its sooooo annoying. the first thing she said to me today was "omg i got soooo high this weekend". like i fucking care? ill watch her fuck up her life. whatever. but i love her. and people are stupid. and the only time shes smart about stuff is when shes with me. and even then, she smokes. ughhh. idk. sometimes it feels like im losing all my friends. it pretty much blows.

other than that, im fine.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELSEY, MY LOVE! i brought her birthday breakfast this morning. it was cute.

hm. yeah. im done for now. maybe even for another month or so.


fershure. [Sunday, July 3rd, 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

ohhhh shiiiiiit.

idk who reads this anymore... oh well.
im going to washington for three weeks on the 12th!
im going to miss my baby sooo much. alex is the love of my life.

i kinda miss school. lame? yes.


3 teardrops ♥  cry

so yeah. [Wednesday, May 25th, 2005]
i love my alex jason. a lot.


schools out. hooray! lovin it.

2 teardrops ♥  cry

holy hell. [Thursday, April 7th, 2005]
[ mood | blah ]

i havent written in this in forever. i havent been doing much lately. i went to the ahs track meet with kelsey yesterday, and my alex came and saw me! and im seeing him on saturday too. that will be fun. umm. tomorrow... i think im going over to lindsays with alex eastburn to go swimming/barely tanning. hm. who knows!

idk what else. i am so sick of school.

i love rachel johnson!


2 teardrops ♥  cry

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