abstract_demise (abstract_demise) wrote,

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strait-jacket feeling.

so i now realize i have about, 3 real friends. one of them being my boyfriend. all of my friends are changing, and i seem to be staying back in the crowd, staying the same. i feel the same. everyone says im the same. i like being the same. i hate the way people have changed. from my point of view, everyone is changing in the wrong ways, and for the wrong reasons. maybe im just completely blind. i have so many "friends". people who i like, but wouldnt want to hang out with. and at social events, or in big groups of people that i "like", i get really nervous, and seclude myself. i would rather be with my tight little crew, that surrounded by many. i guess i am changing. my anxiety is getting better. im taking pills for it. the good part about it is that ive acquired a 4.0 GPA (i hope) from these bad obsessions. im proud of myself, but i could have done better. im reading a book that alexs mom gave me, and it seems to be helping.
lately, ive been being called "weird". i think its funny. but ive started wondering "maybe im completely normal, and the world is going insane." because like i said, everyone on is changing, and i still feel the same. i think thats a song lyric.

but as much as i bitch, i still appreciate life.
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